First Love (Hope)

Irham my name, I kid to 4 of 5 siblings. I was born as a man who is not quite handsome, even considered ugly. But my mother never tire of saying that I, his son most of this small, is a very handsome man. Although only my mother said I was a good-looking, I have never complained about my situation. I'm always grateful for what God has given me. Therefore I am always excited me through the day.

I am a male figure that is difficult to make love. When all my friends fell in love, I just relaxed and did not care about the name of love. when they all tell the girls they like, I'd mock them. Ever once in a while they taunt g * y just because I never fall in love.

Day after day passed by without a loved one who there for me. But I still have a relaxed regardless of what is called love. Sometimes it never occurred to me, what am I normal? of course he did, by birth I am a normal man. But often the question in my mind is, why I do not easily fall in love and have a girl that I love as experienced by my friends? I did not know what the answer is. I always said to myself, there may be time for me to fall in love. It's just that the time was not right.

Day after day went by. At that time I was in high school rather 3. I school class at a famous school in Newbury North Sumatra. To me SMA period is the period that is impossible to forget. Because when high school I became quite well known. Because I often appear on stage to the stage, as a guitarist of a small band that I form with my school friends. Our band has a sizable in the name of our beloved city Rantauprapat. Therefore, I have new friends that I know after a gig.

When a filler an event, I often met with pretty girls, starting from a model, dancer, and many SPG. When the conference with the girls, usually my friends invited me to become acquainted with them. But I've never given much thought to having a girlfriend. Again I was teased by my friends as male g * y. But as usual I never bother.

One time, the exact start of the final semester, I was close to a girl named "Hem aminah". She is a gentle girl who is very kind. Her face was pretty, cute, embarrassed when his cheeks turn red. Small body, small, but fitted with a boyish face. She is a gentle girl, who easily hurt. Not infrequently he cried while in school. Even before close I could hate her, because I really do not like someone who maudlin. I often mock him while crying. When we were close, I invite him to bet. The bet is that if he could resist not to cry until a later time separation, then he can ask anything of me. Moreover, what if she lost the bet, then there is no sanction against him, quite unfair is not it ?. but without me knowing it, it is a form because I cared for him. Finally I was close to him. When we were still in the betting, I several times saw him hold his tears, but usually when his face like that, it means she wants to cry, but when he wanted to cry, she always looked at me, I just smile at him, he was holding water his eyes so as not to come out. 3 class last semester was over, he finally won the bet, he asked for chocolate as a gift victory. Then I meet his request. I was happy because it could make him into a woman who looks tougher.

The holidays are awaiting graduation arrived. At holiday time I was getting closer to him. I often texting with him, not infrequently we talked via sms. In fact, he also often vent about stories that happened to me. One time event that never and may never happen in my life forget me. I saw him dibonceng by her boyfriend. my heart was beating so fast it felt, my mind messed up, I was confused by what had happened to me. Once I asked my friends, they say it's jealousy, which means that I fell in love with Siti aminah.

Sekian lama aku memendam perasaan ku. Aku takut kalau dia tahu perasaanku maka dia akan sedih dan marah. Aku takut tidak bisa dekat lagi dengan dia. Aku terus menahan perasaanku. Dia sering curhat tentang pacarnya kepadaku. Bahkan tak jarang aku mendengar bahwa dia bertengkar dan ingin putus. Namun aku selalu meyabarkan dia, aku selalu mengatakan jangan sampai putus. bagiku kebahagiaan siti aminah lebih penting dari pada sakit hatiku ini. Coba bayangkan, bertahun-tahun aku hidup di dunia ini, baru kali inilah aku jatuh cinta. Kalau saja aku berniat jahat, aku bisa saja menyuruh dia putus dengan kekasih nya, karena kan dia juga sering mengikuti perkataan ku. Namun tidak mau, kebahagiaan orang yang kucintai adalah yang paling penting. Karena berkat dialah aku tau bagaimana rasanya jatuh cinta.

Suatu waktu dia putus dengan pacarnya, dan pacarnya tersebut ingin balikan lagi. Dia nanya sama aku, aku bilang tersrah dia, kalau dia masih suka, ya balikan saja. Dan akirnya dia balikan. Aku mengatakan kepadanya kalau aku senang karena dia gak jomblo lagi. Padahal hatiku ini rasanya sangat sakit. Rasanya mending ditonjokin berkali-kali dari pada harus nahan gini. Tapi, ketika itu juga aku mengutarakan isi hatiku kepada siti aminah, gadis yang pertama kucintai di dunia ini setelah ibuku. Dia tidak percaya dengan perkataanku. Namun aku mengatakan aku sungguh-sungguh mencintai dia. Aku mengatakan “siti, aku cinta sama kamu tapi aku gak minta kau untuk menjadi pacarku, karena, jangankan buat jadi pacarmu, untuk bermimpi dan berharap agar kau menjadi kekasihku pun aku tak pernah berani”. Aku tak tau apa yang dirasakan nya, namun yang ada di dalam fikiranku adalah dia akan marah kepadaku. Tapi pada akhirnya dia tidak pernah marah denganku, namun dia bertanya, “mengapa kau menyatakan cinta sama aku saat kau tau aku sudah balikan dengan pacarku?”. Aku hanya menjawab “biar kalo ditolak gak begitu sakit hati”. Padahal di dalam hatiku yang sebenarnya, aku takut kalau dia benci sama aku. Setelah itu dia juga sempat pacaran dengan teman dekatku, yang juga suka maenin cewek. Sesungguhnya hatiku sangat sakit ketika mengetahui mereka pacaran. Apalagi kalau si siti curhat dengan ku. Hatiku rasanya seperti dikoyak-koyak lalu dilempar ke dalam api. Tapi aku memilih untuk selalu menyuport apa yang ingin dia kerjakan, tanpa memperdulikan sakit yang aku rasakan. Aku tak pernah bertanya bagaimana perasaan nya terhadapku, namun aku tau, gadis cantik seperti dia tidaklah mungkin jatuh cinta kepada lelaki seperti aku. Bagiku yang penting dia tau kalau aku pernah suka sama dia, dan dia adalah cinta pertama ku.

Now we are studying in different cities. But sometimes we still communicate through sms, fuel, twitter, and others. He said he has not had a boyfriend, and still happy singles. But I've given up on my feelings. I prefer to pray for him so that he got a handsome man, and the man had a great love him like I love her. "I LOVE YOU Siti Aminah NASUTION, MAY AN UNCONSCIOUS WHEN YOU, I LOVE TO MU EXCEEDED my love MYSELF, THEREFORE I AM MORE THAN CHOOSE BAHAGIAMU my pain." Hopefully, the reader does not experience the same thing with me. amen

Short Story Authorship: Muhammad Irham
Facebook: www.facebook.com/irhamhsb19
name: muhammad Irham
Address: No.66 of new rural roads, Rantauprapat, Labuhan Batu, Sumatera Utara
status: Islamic university students in the country sultan syarif khasim riau
male gender
status hubungan: single